With nothing but dreary, soul-crushing news articles lately we decided to have a bit of fun and create your weekly VINYL horoscopes! Maybe you need a pick-me-up or maybe you're trying your hardest to procrastinate that little bit longer... either way, we suggest you read on!
Gemini (May 21 -June 20):
The cold, miserable days indoors coupled with the ever-changing moods of everyone around you may really be bogging you down this week. Regardless of how adaptable you usually are you can't seem to get yourself in the right frame of mind. Pull yourself together, Gemini. This is your week to ignite passion into the lethargic humans around you. If you need a kick-start just listen to your track:
We Are The Champions - Queen
Cancer (June 21 -July 22):
Trouble at home? Usually it's your hide-out from life but this week it's nothing but turmoil. Your normally reclusive persona is finding itself tested as you're off out anywhere-but-home this week. Take a minute to relax and listen to your track:
West Coast - Lana Del Rey
Leo (July 23 -August 22):
RELAX! I'm only going to say it once but seriously! January was non-stop for you and right now you just need to chill-the-hell out and have some 'me time'. You've managed to take care of everyone but yourself and now is the perfect time to do just that. Take a chill pill and pop on your track:
Paradise - Coldplay
Virgo (August 23 -September 22):
Honestly could this week get much weirder for you? We can't really comprehend it ourselves, but you're still here right? That's... good... Anyway, here's your track:
Uma Thurman - Fall Out Boy
Libra (September 23 -October 22):
Compromise is not your strong suit let's say... And no! We don't think you should back down either. Stick to your guns, you're probably right anyway. Take a listen to your track:
Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor
Scorpio (October 23 -November 21):
Valentine's didn't go as plan? We guessed as much. Regardless you're still a huge bundle of energy this week and you need to release all that heartbreak! Take a listen to your track:
I Want You Back - The Jackson 5
Sagittarius (November 22 -December 21):
What is with this sudden bout of good luck?! Whatever the case, we hope it continues for you. Take the time to revel in your progress this week and have a bit of FUN. Need help starting? Put on this track:
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - WHAM!
Capricorn (December 22 -January 19):
One way or another your heart's been well and truly broken this week. Betrayal? Loss? Bitterness? Whatever the case, unsurprisingly, here's your track:
Wake Me Up When September Ends - Green Day
Aquarius (January 20 -February 18):
It's not your week. Hell it's not even your month. But you have to ride it out to see better times come March. We got you covered. Stick on your track and forget it all:
Blue (da ba dee) - Effiel 65
Pisces (February 19 -March 20):
Continue. Continue living life to the fullest and taking every opportunity life throws at your this week because honestly? You're doing a great job. It's time for you to take a listen:
You Need Me - Ed Sheeran
Aries (March 21 -April 19):
Oh Aries. What is going so wrong that people are simply not understanding you this week? You keep talking and talking but nothing... Maybe you're fluffing your words... Maybe there's something on your face... Maybe it's that bad haircut... Uh, we mean different? Anyway, your track awaits you:
No Church In The Wild - Jay Z
Taurus (April 20 -May 20):
Last but not least! I would've said we're saving the best till last but, er... ANYWAY. How are you this week Taurus? Finally it seems like things are relaxing, or maybe it's the calm before the next storm, not to panic you or anything. Sorry to keep you so long, your track:
Perfect Skin - PEACE
That's all for this week folks... happy with your track?
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